To the one I lost.

First let me start by saying sorry

Sorry for the times you had to feel like you’re alone

Times I wasn’t there

I’m sorry that I’m not so visible

And present

I’m sorry that I slept off way to early and couldn’t even tell you goodnight

And good morning just right when you woke up

I’m sorry I didn’t give you the kind of love you deserve

You deserve the world and more

I don’t want you to really tell me how much I hurt you

Sometimes I know you fake being okay with all that I did

I didn’t want you to feel like you have a damaged girlfriend

The one hurt from past relationships

And takes it out on you

I didn’t want to punish you for what someone else did to me

I don’t want you to feel for a day that I didn’t love you

I’m scared of love

Yes it’s the only fear I have

If I were to be asked what my biggest fear was it would be love

I don’t want to keep running

Or hiding

And I’m sorry if I was not the most perfect girl in the world

I’m complicated

Clumsy

Absent minded

And most of all depressed

But I promise I’d find a way to make things right one day.