When your world comes crashing down
When you’re at your lowest
And you aren’t at your best
The ones who stay
Should never be cast away
The are all you have in a world where we sometimes feel alone
In a world when you feel as though you have no strength to stand
they will be your bone
When you have nowhere to run to
They are home and the shelter that keeps you believing
Even when you lost all hope
They are true friends
Forgive me If I’m hurt
But I’m only human
Forgive me that I cannot think of someone else having you
For I’m only in love
Never known it
Never felt it
But the broken pieces of my heart seem to be mended by you
The soft touches
Your soft skin
Your beautiful smile
Lights up my dark world
I see you
I know you
and I love all the things you hate about yourself
You’re a perfect imperfection
It really does feel like I’ve known you all my life
I love you
Always will.
Eyes like paradise
Smile worth more than diamonds
Strikes my heart In seconds
She was different
She was beautiful
She was simply all I’ve never had
The best I ever had
She was an angel
Kiss me just one more time
Before the world fucks it all up
And confusion and fear holds me hostage
Look into my eyes and tell me the best of things
Just one more time before it all ends
One more time
Before I remember all is temporary
And all I cannot have
One more smile
One more look in your eyes
While I feed my soul with happiness
One more touch
Just maybe
You might feel the same way
And think of me when you get wet
Just the same way I think of you
And crave every bit of you
It’s not lust
It’s something deeper than I can explain
I’ve never felt this
Never known this
But I all I feel is butterflies
All I feel is addiction
Your body , a drug
That leaves me in nostalgia
Just one more you.
Depression is my shadow
It follows me everywhere
Sometimes I think its gone and just right when it’s dark and a little light shines upon my life
It shows itself
Turns it all dark again
Comes to remind me of my pain
Reminds me of a dark little space
That It has hidden me in
And even when I try to be found
It reminds me that no one cares to look for me
Reminds me of the pain waiting for me behind my blinding fantasy
I’m not too blind to see
That It’s just me and depression
I and my shadow.
I have lost so many pieces of my heart to silence ,
I have kept mute when they tested my patience ,
I lost myself to those precious little moments ,
That I would’ve called you mine when they thought we were just friends,
I should’ve said something ,
I lost myself when I settled with their perception of us,
I lost myself when I couldn’t tell them who we are ,
And all we have ,
Those precious moments when I could have owned up to you being mine ,
And I , yours.
Those moments when they called us sisters,
I should’ve said something,
But I didn’t.
First let me start by saying sorry
Sorry for the times you had to feel like you’re alone
Times I wasn’t there
I’m sorry that I’m not so visible
And present
I’m sorry that I slept off way to early and couldn’t even tell you goodnight
And good morning just right when you woke up
I’m sorry I didn’t give you the kind of love you deserve
You deserve the world and more
I don’t want you to really tell me how much I hurt you
Sometimes I know you fake being okay with all that I did
I didn’t want you to feel like you have a damaged girlfriend
The one hurt from past relationships
And takes it out on you
I didn’t want to punish you for what someone else did to me
I don’t want you to feel for a day that I didn’t love you
I’m scared of love
Yes it’s the only fear I have
If I were to be asked what my biggest fear was it would be love
I don’t want to keep running
Or hiding
And I’m sorry if I was not the most perfect girl in the world
I’m complicated
Clumsy
Absent minded
And most of all depressed
But I promise I’d find a way to make things right one day.
Crying like a little girl
Crying like I’ve lost it all
I miss you so much
With every soul in my body I need you
I want you every minute
I want to hear you laugh
I want to see you start at me with love in your eyes
I want you more than you could ever imagine
Sometimes I want to write about you
But I don’t know how to write down the million of things that go through my mind when I think of you
I just might be falling in love with you
I’m scared of the way I feel
I know you might not love me
And I’m preparing my heart for the pain that’s about to hit me really hard
I would say fuck love
But that’s a lie
I want love
I want your love
Nothing else
No one else but you
Just you
Forever you
My love
Today I remember all the things that broke me
All the hatred that built me
The sadness that overwhelmed me
My first attempt
Today I stare at my scars
I remember the stitches
Somehow I managed to put it aside
But today I and my pain lay side by side
Today I’m weak
Today, the second day of the week
I hope I try surviving
It’s hard to live when you are me
In my body
Walking in my damn shoes
It’s hard today
Tomorrow
And another today
I’m only waiting for a miracle
Or I might leave silently.
The burden is crazy
I can’t just write anything
I wish you could feel my heartbeat
Faster than a race car
I wish you could see my pain
As bright as a shining star
I wanna get up off my back
There’s no one to lift me
So I’ll hold on to God instead
That’s if I’m still worthy of his love
I know you love me
I’m not disputing the fact that you do
But are you to blind to see
That you both are hurting me
The fact that you weren’t together was a problem for me
Growing up and having to learn basically everything on my own
When I had my period for the first time mum I was scared
I thought I was bleeding and going to die
I didn’t fit in while in high school
I got made fun of at some point
I went home to cry in the living room with my uniform on
I listened to benediction by August Alsina
While every minute a different suicide thought crossed through my mind
I was in pieces
But dad all you cared about was my little weight and called me obese
little bad grades at the beginning of high school you called me a dullard
All I wanted was for you to tell me that there was literally nothin wrong with me and that I was okay
I went to school everyday feeling different than the others
I did try to commit suicide a few times
You saved me from drowning didn’t you ?
Why?
Why bring me back into a world where I’m filled with the “I will never be enough mentality”
I still asked myself when would this be over finally
Mum you thought me never to cry in public
Never be soft
Fake it
Be strong
Don’t show weakness
All these tears that i hoard where do I keep them?
All the burden that I carry around where do I let them go ?
What am I supposed to do now that I’m not allowed to shed the emotions away from my body
Why do I have to blur out my pain with the use of alcohol
I know you miss my dad
Stop pretending that you are strong
Because we are just alike
I hurt too
And I smoke now too mum
I guess I turned out alright
Everyone thinks I’m tough
I faked it
I’m into girls mum
I still lie sometimes that I’m totally straight
I’m faking it
I know you want me to be all the best I could ever be for a man to marry me
I’m sorry mum I just might be a disappointment after all
Dad I know you wouldn’t be surprised
It is as expected of me
A big disappointment of a child
When i think of the future
I go blank
Sometimes it feels as though this suffering might end soon
I hope I find love
I hope I find happiness
I love you both
But you have never for once known me
Maybe to you mum I’m just a soft little girl
And maybe best known to you dad as just
A big disappointment
queenremsspoetry 